Stupid People of the Week

OneMillionMoms wins my first ever Stupid People of the Week award. Not because they are the first Stupid People, but because their stupidity was just a little inspiring.

They’re boycotting Ben & Jerry’s over the ice cream gods’ new flavor “Schweddy Balls”. A name which seems to have a suggestive double entendre. Ok, it doesn’t just seem to. It’s there, plain as day. The name is an inside joke to an old SNL skit involving a baker named Schweddy and his confections – which reminds me of an infamous South Park gag.

Vulgar is what OneMillionMom’s calls the name.

According to the article, “New Ben & Jerry’s flavor sparks boycott” in The Daily Caller by Betsi Fores, Irreverent is what Ben & Jerrys calls the name.

Why is this stupid on behalf of the OneMillionMoms? Certainly people are allowed to have opinions and even speak out for action. Their reasoning has something to do with not wanting their kids to ask for it at the grocer.

First, Schweddy Balls is ice cream with rum, chocolate and malted milk balls added. Not exactly a flavor aimed at children.

Second, Ben & Jerry’s target demographic is not people buying their product for their offspring. People buy Ben & Jerrys as an indulgence and usually buy only one pint at a time, occasionally buying two if they want to share the indulgence with a very close friend who likes a different flavor–or they just don’t want to have to split a pint. The vast majority of people who buy Ben & Jerry’s are adults.

Third, and the big reason why this is stupid: The net result of this Boycott is more sales by Ben & Jerrys.

The first two points tell us that Mom’s don’t buy Ben & Jerry’s for their kids. I know when I buy Ice Cream I buy over a gallon for about the same price I’d pay for a Ben & Jerry’s pint.

I might buy a pint-sized Ice Cream as an indulgence now and then and when I do, all I care about is the flavor of the ice cream. I don’t care about the politics behind the label. Ice cream is not a rational thing. It’s all about appeasing cravings. If I’m craving caramel, fudge and macadamia nuts, I’m not going to wonder or care if the ice cream was made by people with an adult sense of humor or even if it was made by six-year-old Newfoundland child slaves who beat the cases shut with baby seals.* If it’s the only brand to have just the right flavor, that’s the brand I’m buying.

Are there going to be grocery store chains that won’t carry Schweddy Balls? Certainly some will appease the Moms. At the same time, making news, and bringing Ben & Jerry’s freshly into the public eye, will mean that the other flavors that those grocery stores will sell, will sell more for a few weeks.

Most people who read OneMillionMoms announcement to boycott Ben & Jerry’s will get a craving for their favorite B&J flavor. B&J owe OneMillionMoms a big ‘Thank You.’

So, what’s your favorite Ben & Jerry’s Flavor?

*I’m exaggerating. Of course I’d care if the child slaves used baby seals as mallets.


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