Strange Things People Look For and Find Me.

Since the dawn of time, assuming time started at the beginning of my publishing a blog, there have been over two thousand distinct visits to my blog. The same person visiting the blog multiple times in a day only counts as one. Me reading my own blog counts as zero. Many of these were linked from other places, but some found my blog purely by searching on Google or another search engine.

These are the rough statistics of what they were looking for. (The examples farther below are not included in these):

13 searches were looking for advice.

6 searches were looking for information pertaining to coal.

56 searches were looking for entertainment reviews or other information. A surprisingly large percentage of these were wondering wtf happened in “Sucker Punch”. American Idol, The Voice and Pawn Stars statistics are separate from this number.

84 searches found my American Idol posts.

34 searches were actually looking for either me or my blog directly.

6 searches related to news stories not covered under more specific categories.

26 searches were related to political matters.

5 searches were for Pawn Stars

54 searches were interested in the Penn and Miss Tennessee debates.

177 searches on The Voice.

72 searches I categorized as examples of the above or unique and interesting for other reasons. These are not counted in the numbers above. Below are some example of what people were looking for when they found my blog. My comments follow the em dashes ‘–‘. I didn’t correct any spelling in the queries.

These Search Terms seem to be seeking advice, I’m not sure I provided the answers they were looking for in all the cases, but some of them I at least provided information:

abstinance and pregnancy — advice:  abstinence prevents pregnancy. My advice: If you don’t abstain, use a condom, learn the risks and get tested regularly.

aspergers sitting exams                — I had quite a fun blog posting on my experience with this.

backyard chicken blog — I have backyard chickens and I blogged about it.           

can i combine my tivo with time warner cable — advice: maybe.              

chili habanero mild — My recipe is posted somewhere in the early days of this blog. I highly recommend it.     

endo of world blog how to prepare — Advice: Don’t prepare for the end of the world, prepare for the continuance of the world.  

how to prepare for end of world may 2011 — I got quite a few of these.

how to prepare for the end of the world               — and more than I posted here.

how to stop chickens from sit on my driveway — I recommend Vindaloo sauce.

installing cable card time warner cable lincoln, ne — Advice: In Lincoln, TWC will insist on installing it for you and installing their own.          

tivo twc — I think this query might have been too vague.

tripe chili — I mentioned chili and call everything I write tripe, but tripe chili is a disturbing concept.    

These terms seemed to trigger my entertainment related posts. These are just a sample set, indicative of the types of things people looked for when they found my blog:

alien using water as fuel — I blogged a couple times about the ridiculous reasons movies give for invading Earth. This was actually almost plausible.

black eyed peas audience age group — I never directly answered this, but something like an answer might have been in my post-Superbowl blog.

nathan fillion    — any excuse to get this guy’s name out there.

reviews of hangover two for teens — short answer : no 

why do they give oscars for all the stupid movies — correct answer, as blogged, : because the Oscars are stupid              

These seemed like simple information seeking queries:

ideal jobs for vampires — I think this was among my first posts.

if the earth revolves at 25,000mph why isn’t the surface wind 25,000mph? — I don’t think I ever answered this anywhere so I will now, using armchair science: Space offers very little friction to create drag on the atmosphere. The surface of the planet offers quite a bit of friction and pretty much takes the atmosphere with it where it goes. The atmosphere is also much higher friction than space and also drags the atmosphere above it with it. Also Speed is relative, and pretty much all of the air in the atmosphere is already travelling the same speed as the surface at any given time. It doesn’t take much force (in perspective) to keep the atmosphere moving with the rest of the planet.  Stronger forces on the movement of the atmosphere are surface temperatures and air pressure variations. A true scientist can explain this in more detail.

satirical song from world war 1  — this is an example of how search engines fail. I mentioned satirical and  song from world war 1 in the same blog, but not directly connected.

sexism in schools 2011 — An important topic, but not one I really covered at any depth.

today % of youth are sexually active — I don’t claim to be an authority on specific numbers here, but I did voice an opinion on how modern technology was affecting this.

I’m shocked this one found my blog – or found anything:

halftimeshowwasajoke

Examples of people actually looking for me or my blog:

justified “wil”   

ogden raise taxes cut spending

wil ogden quote              

wil ogden stone soup   

pantros ???       

People looking for Political related stuff:

all politicians suck! — Redundant, like saying “all barbers cut.”

cutting budget for education is a good idea — since when? The only people who should think this is a true statement are people who want their social security to not be cut at any cost and only expect to live another two to five years.

does freedom of speech protect lying — Answer: no.    

expression shouldn’t be protected by first amendment — Reply: Um, yes. Yes, it should.            

first amendment does protect all types of speech — Reply, as blogged: Not quite.         

image morality in government — not sure what this was looking for.     

politician who suck at their jobs — Reply: Despite what I mentioned above about politicians sucking being redundant, I should clarify that when the job requires a politician, such as politics, sucking is a requirement. While it is possible to suck at sucking, the problem is that most politicians don’t.

should the government raise or lower taxes to balance the budget? what progrmas should be cut — excellent question, typing errors aside. I have my opinions on the answers and blogged about them. However my opinion of the criteria for choosing is advice everyone should adhere to.                

starve the debt beast 5/16/2011 —  I addressed “Starve the Beast”, I’m glad to see people learning more about it, regardless of how they feel about it. I feel it failed.

george washington beast of prey — Yes, our first president had some issues with the natives. I stated in my blog that he didn’t but that particular post was satirical about teaching popular history rather than actual history.

Bad search queries:

best “performance review” comments — vague. What kind of performance are we talking?

blog “television review” copyright — I address copyright clearly on my home page. I’m not sure this is the answer to whatever they were looking for though.              

las vegas strip clubs to bring my wife to — Been to a strip club once in my whole life for a friend’s bachelor party. I’d probably go if my wife were into this kind of thing, but I’m pretty sure I never addressed this in my blog.

names that mean child wil be sexually active — misspelling the word “will” will fail in getting good results. I’m pretty sure there’s actually less to do with the names we choose than the life lessons we teach.    

semi finals review — basketball, hockey or The Voice? I only covered one of those.

what performance used the song smile — again with the vagueness.     

white descendants of sally hemings and thomas jefferson — Reply: this is still under debate because some people don’t understand DNA testing and they won’t believe what they won’t take the time to study.

wikipedia “forty miles per year” — I always find it confusing with Jeopardy style searches. Why look for the question if you have the answer? The question: What is the rate of change in Magnetic North in miles per hour.

wil time end of the world — not sure what this was looking for. Maybe looking for my advice on the end of the world, maybe not.        

wil word recipes — again not sure.

zombies in ogden — Ogden is a city, well lots of cities in lots of states. If there are zombies in any of them, the media is being well censored.

These things I fully understand how they got to my blog:

comment, satire and tripe

elmos candy     

facts about satire artwork           

hangover2 ogden           

hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy telephone sanitisers    

how to blog journalistically        

middle managers, telephone sanitizers and      

perjoritive political title              

stone soup gender         

the art of satire               

true enlightenment ignorance 

will people use the high speed rail when its built           

male responses to women’s wrestling in high school wrestling 

So people look for some strange things on the internet. It’s particularly odd that some of these strange things are actually covered in my posts. Other things, I’m proud to have covered. Heck I’m proud of anything I write that people actually read. Okay, I’m a little less proud that my top readers are reality TV fans. Still any reader is a good reader and everyone who comes here leaves a little smarter — at least I like to think so.

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