Phone Sanitizers

In the sequel to The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy titled “The Restaurant at the End of the Universe”, the late literary genius Douglas Adams mentioned a race named the Golgafrinchans. The Golgafrichans had been a world faced with overpopulation and solved this problem by convincing a third of their population to embark on a space journey to colonize other worlds, telling them the world was going to end and the rest of the population would be along shortly. This third of their population included such useless people as middle managers and telephone sanitizers. Ironically the two-thirds left behind on Golgafricha are killed off by a phone spread pathogen while the useless third fly off and eventually become the human race on Earth.

Tens of thousands of years later, I fear the rest of us are doomed to a similar fate as those we left behind. How clean is your phone?

When is the last time you wiped it down with an alcohol wipe or stuck it under some fancy UV microbe killing light?

Think about where your phone has been.

Chances are, if it’s a smart phone, you use it while you sit on the toilet. Not your toilet at home, so much, but the one at work. It’s the modern equivalent of a newspaper. Think about the chain of events in a public bathroom. What do you touch in what order? You wash your hands after it all, but did you wash your phone that you handled between touching the things that make you want to wash your hands?

Didn’t think so.

Do you ever hand your phone to someone else to share a picture or video? How sanitary are they? Did you wipe your phone down afterwards or are you letting those bacteria reproduce rampantly?

I’m not a germophobe in any way shape or form. I wash my hands after using the bathroom, but I don’t usually wash my phone. I probably wipe it down every few days with a PC cleaner wipe. I firmly believe that some exposure to microbes is necessary to develop a proper immune system. But that exposure should be small and limited.

On a side note: When you are done with your business at the toilet, what do you do next…do you wash your hands before doing anything else or do you pull your pants up, buckle your belt, etc, and then walk to the sink and wash your hands?


About wilogden

Wil Ogden was destined to be a wastrel but thwarted fate. During his second junior year in high school he discovered he had a muse and a talent for writing. Despite taking almost a decade to complete a bachelor's degree by changing majors eleven times, he managed to grow up. Along the way he worked as a blacksmith, a record store manager, a candy store manager, too many years in food service, a four year stint in the USAF, and finally settled down into Information Technology, which he uses to pay the bills and support his family of himself, his wife, son, seven daughters, two dogs, three cats, six chickens, a snake, a ferret and two parakeets.

Posted on December 3, 2010, in Tripe. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. SERIOUSLY!? Like I don’t have enough issues? I can barely allow your daughter and myself to touch anything and you have to post this? Plus I forgot to buy new Clorox Wipes or our new barrel of Hand Sanitizer from Sam’s this month! OMFG!

  2. I thought you said there would be more after Turkey Day… Last i checked Turkey Day has come and gone and new posts are distinctly missing.

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